This blog is basically just a collection of my "random thoughts". I must warn you, though. I have been told that "I write like I talk", so if you don't understand what you are reading... chances are, if you met me... I wouldn't make much sense to you! Feel free to comment if you care to. Or not. I'm good either way!

Friday, September 3, 2010

FRIDAY FUNNIES

Today, in this segment of
FRIDAY FUNNIES
I will share funny stories with you from this website:

I picked these DOCTOR jokes since today is the day of my long anticipated
gall bladder surgery!!
Prayers would be appreciated
~ Thank you!

WILL IT HURT MUCH, DOCTOR?


A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions. She replies, "Well, I'm a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt?"

The doctor answered, "Well, that varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy and besides, it's difficult to describe pain."

"I know, but can't you give me some idea?" she asks.

"Grab your upper lip and pull it out a little..."

"Like this?"

"A little more..."

"Like this?"

"No. A little more..."

"Like this?"

"Yes. Does that hurt?"

"A little bit."

"Now stretch it over your head!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AN OLD COUPLE AT THE DOCTORS


An old couple go to the doctor. The old man goes first to have his physical. When the doctor is done with him, he sends the old man back into the waiting room and calls the old woman in.

The doctor tells her, "Before we proceed with the examination, I would like to talk to you about your husband first."

The old woman says, "Oh, no, it's his heart. I told him to lay off the eggs."

The doctor says, "Well, I asked your husband how he is feeling and he told me he felt great. He said that when he got up to go to the bathroom, he opened the door and God turned the light on for him. When he was done, he would shut the door and God would turn the light out for him."

The old woman responded, "Dang it, he's peeing in the fridge again!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TOP TEN THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR IN SURGERY


1 Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.

2 Nurse, did this patient sign the organs donation card?

3 Dang! Page 84 of the manual is missing!

4 Everybody stand back! I lost a contact lens!

5 Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie

6 Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.

7 "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"

8 Whoa, wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?

9 "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, he's got two of'em

10 What do you mean "You want a divorce?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy Friday to you!!

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