Friday Funnies ~ No Pants Day

Yes. You read that correctly! Ha!

Today -- The first Friday in May -- is No Pants Day at the Ginn Mill in Denver, Colorado!

Source

This news topic caught my eye on my MSN home page. My first thought was... "Isn't that illegal?" ... and then my next thought was.... "Thank God that I don't live there, beause there's no way I would do that!"

It turns out that it is all for a good cause. According to the website... There is a party and the donation to get in is a pair of dress pants. All clothing and monetary donations will go to benefit Denver Works. For 16 years Denver Works has been providing jobseeker workshops, job search assistance, career counseling, work attire, computer accessibility, mentoring, and life-skills training to jobseekers with barriers to employment.

What a great cause! And great for a good laugh!!!

Happy Friday, everyone!!

FRIDAY FUNNIES

Today, in this segment of

FRIDAY FUNNIES

I will share funny stories with you from this website:

http://www.comedy-zone.net/jokes/doctor.htm

I picked these DOCTOR jokes since today is the day of my long anticipated

gall bladder surgery!!

Prayers would be appreciated

~ Thank you!

WILL IT HURT MUCH, DOCTOR?

A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions. She replies, "Well, I'm a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt?"

The doctor answered, "Well, that varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy and besides, it's difficult to describe pain."

"I know, but can't you give me some idea?" she asks.

"Grab your upper lip and pull it out a little..."

"Like this?"

"A little more..."

"Like this?"

"No. A little more..."

"Like this?"

"Yes. Does that hurt?"

"A little bit."

"Now stretch it over your head!"

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AN OLD COUPLE AT THE DOCTORS


An old couple go to the doctor. The old man goes first to have his physical. When the doctor is done with him, he sends the old man back into the waiting room and calls the old woman in.

The doctor tells her, "Before we proceed with the examination, I would like to talk to you about your husband first."

The old woman says, "Oh, no, it's his heart. I told him to lay off the eggs."

The doctor says, "Well, I asked your husband how he is feeling and he told me he felt great. He said that when he got up to go to the bathroom, he opened the door and God turned the light on for him. When he was done, he would shut the door and God would turn the light out for him."

The old woman responded, "Dang it, he's peeing in the fridge again!"

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TOP TEN THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR IN SURGERY


1 Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.

2 Nurse, did this patient sign the organs donation card?

3 Dang! Page 84 of the manual is missing!

4 Everybody stand back! I lost a contact lens!

5 Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie

6 Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.

7 "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"

8 Whoa, wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?

9 "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, he's got two of'em

10 What do you mean "You want a divorce?"

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Happy Friday to you!!

FRIDAY FUNNIES

Today, in this segment of

FRIDAY FUNNIES

I will share funny stories with you from this website:

http://www.funs.co.uk/

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A Bug

Every night, Frank would go down to the liquor store, get a six pack, bring it home, and drink it while he watched TV. One night, as he finished his last beer, the doorbell rang. He stumbled to the door and found a six-foot cockroach standing there. The bug grabbed him by the collar and threw him across the room, then left.

The next night, after he finished his 4th beer, the doorbell rang. He walked slowly to the door and found the same six-foot cockroach standing there. The big bug punched him in the stomach, then left.

The next night, after he finished his 1st beer, the doorbell rang again. The same six-foot cockroach was standing there. This time he was kneed in the groin and hit behind the ear as he doubled over in pain. Then the big bug left.

The fourth night Frank didn't drink at all. The doorbell rang. The cockroach was standing there. The bug beat the snot out of Frank and left him in a heap on the living room floor.

The following day, Frank went to see his doctor. He explained events of the preceding four nights. "What can I do?" he pleaded. "Not much" the doctor replied. "There's just a nasty bug going around."

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A Cat's Diary

Day 751: My captors continue to torment me with bizarre dangling objects. They eat lavish meals in my presence while I am forced to subsist on dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of eventual escape -- that, and the satisfaction I get from occasionally ruining some piece of their furniture.

I fear I may be going insane. Yesterday, I ate a houseplant. Tomorrow I may eat another.

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Butlers Nite Off

A wealthy couple had planned to go out for the evening. The woman of the house decided to give their butler, Jerves, the rest of the night off. She said they would be home very late, and that he should just enjoy his evening.

As it turned out, however, the wife wasn't having a good time at the party, so she came home early, alone. Her husband had to stay there, as several of his important clients were there.

As the woman walked into her house, she saw Jerves sitting by himself in the dining room. She called for him to follow her, and led him into the master bedroom. She then closed and locked the door.

She looked at him and smiled. "Jerves," she said."Take off my dress." He did this carefully."Jerves," she continued." Take off my stockings and garter." He silently obeyed her. "Jerves," she then said. "Remove my bra and panties." As he did this, the tension continued to mount.

She looked at him and then said, "Jerves, if I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you're fired!"

Photo courtesy of this WEBSITE - It's actually a painting done by Mark Stock, entitled "The Butler's in Love".

FRIDAY FUNNIES

I am going to add a new element to my blog. It's going to be called

FRIDAY FUNNIES.

Each Friday, I will find a "Funny" and blog about it.

Today, I have chosen to write about "Dumb Laws", and because I live in Georgia.... I picked "Dumb Laws in Georgia". Let's see what we can find...

No one may carry an ice cream cone in their back pocket if it is Sunday. --- Hmmm.... Have you ever carried an ice cream cone in your back pocket?? THAT is probably the last place that I would carry it! Well, I can think of many other places that I wouldn't carry one either..... my sock, under my hat, inside my shirt, my FRONT pocket, ....

And I wonder why this law was made only for "Sunday". Why not the other days of the week?? -- Interesting.

Donkeys may not be kept in bathtubs. --- Hmmmm.... again, I wonder.... WHY would anyone have a donkey in their house in the first place, much less their BATHTUB!!!! And why would anyone make a LAW about this?? If I had a donkey and wanted to keep it in my bathtub, it shouldn't matter to anyone else, but me!

Members of the state assembly cannot be ticketed for speeding while the state assembly is in session. --- Shouldn't they be IN the state assembly and not driving? --- Oh, I guess this law was put into affect so that they can't be ticketed for being "late" to the assembly!! Leave it to the gorvernment to put a "loophole" in somewhere in order to protect their precious employees!